


Misty Mountaineer

by Starksexual



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, PTSD, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Protective Peter Parker, Steve Angst, Tony Angst, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, anxiety attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-06-17 07:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15456351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starksexual/pseuds/Starksexual
Summary: Tony needs a break after CA:CW and decides to become an (almost) hermit in the mountains, taking Peter Parker for the proper mentoring we all deserved to see. Steve and Tony will have a much needed conversation, but the first several chapters will be centered around the father/son relationship between Tony and Peter.





	1. Over the Hills and Far Away

**Author's Note:**

> Any mistakes are my own. I don't own any MCU characters.  
> I'm not sure how many chapters there will be, but I will try to update once a week. I will also add tags when required, as the story progresses. I took liberty with the timeline so it would fall during the entire summer. This is just a version of what I imagine it would be like if Tony actually really went for mentoring Peter. All the feels. Hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think! I'm fueled by your comments :)

A week after THAT happened: 

Tony was tired. He would gladly take death over this, he thought. God, that’s morbid, but it is what it is. The fight with Steve took what little he had left. At least if he had died in Siberia, he wouldn’t have to deal with this hollowness and immense desperation, yet alarming apathy. He lost part of his team, his family. He had already lost Pepper. He was a damn futurist, wasn’t he? But what good does that do if you have no future? 

Two months later: 

He really would have continued in his self-wallowing, but every time he looked at Rhodey, his heart broke all over again. Yeah, he was progressing and doing well with the prosthetics Tony had designed, but Tony would never forgive himself for what happened. However, with each passing day, that guilt and heartache was soon followed by a deep fire that started as a small ember, a burning desire to do better, be better. 

Then that Spider kid came along. He was like, well, like a pest. Pun intended. Tony tried to keep him at arm’s length. He didn’t want to screw someone else up. The kid was persistent, though and Tony admired that. He had so much potential, immense brilliance and was still full of innocence. Tony saw himself in him sometimes, but Peter was so pure and, god, oh so young. The kid called him religiously, every day. He pestered Happy to the point that his phone mysteriously fell and broke into minute pieces. Finally, Tony relented. If he could somehow do right by Peter, maybe hope wasn’t all lost. 

He decided he’d pay Underwoos a visit, but first he needed a plan. Plan. It was almost like a foreign word to the man famous for low impulse control. It’s all part of being a better man and whatnot, he supposes. He doesn’t want Ross to get his claws on the kid, he decides. He doesn’t want him involved in the Accords mess. “You’re doing what?!” Rhodey reacted just about the way Tony expected. “It’s temporary, Rhodey-bear. I think it’s the best option. I even planned it out. You should be proud of me!” His best friend glared, unamused. “Tones, I’m glad you’re taking a break from all this. Man, I know you need it, but is being a hermit really necessary?” Hermit was an exaggeration, the engineer thought. He wasn’t exactly going to hide away alone forever. 

He sighed before replying to his best friend. “One, I won’t be alone. Peter is coming with me. I’m mentoring him. It’ll be like summer camp. Two, you’ll know where I am and you can always visit or call me if there’s an emergency or when you just miss my sultry voice.” The sergeant couldn’t stop his face from splitting into a fond grin. He had a soft spot for the dumb genius. “You sure you know what you’re doing, Tones?” Tony looked up at him and Rhodey saw fierce determination in his eyes. 

In that moment, just like all the other times he had Tony’s back, he know the billionaire would be okay. If Tony needed this, he supported it. Who would have ever pictured the playboy as a father figure. He smiled reassuringly, with a teasing glint in his eye. “Okay. You’re crazy, but okay. And Tones? You’ll make a great dad.” Tony rolled his eyes and barked out a small laugh. “Ha, I’m no father. More like a fun uncle who lets him pick up dates in expensive sports cars and gives him his first beer.” Rhodey raised a disapproving eyebrow, but there was mirth in his eyes. “Fine, I’ll be responsible. No sports cars,” he amended. “He can swing from his web slings, anyway.” Rhodey knew his friend always diffused serious moments with humor and saw that mentoring Peter meant more to him than he let on, but he decided to keep that to himself. 

That’s how Tony found himself driving to Canada with Peter. He had convinced the boy’s aunt to let him out of her sight for four months, telling her he was offering Peter an exclusive opportunity to intern for him abroad, all expenses paid. The teenager was over the moon, of course, unfailing to mumble an embarrassed expression of gratitude at least once an hour. Tony had found and subsequently purchased an isolated farm in Canada’s wilderness. Sure, he could have had his private jet fly them in, but he wanted to be as off the radar as possible. He couldn’t be completely off, of course. Ross would go nuts. Rhodey agreed to keep the fort down in that aspect and Tony made himself reachable to Ross for emergencies on a secure, untraceable line. He did plan it out, see? Oh, and he left that stupid, relic of a phone with Rhodey. He would never need Steve Rogers. Right? 

When they reached the farm, the sun was setting, casting an ethereal glow from the mountains that were mostly green, now that it was summer, but still capped in glittering snow. Peter had fallen asleep in the car, head tilted back, mouth slightly ajar. He looked so peaceful that Tony almost didn’t want to wake him up, but he figured the kid would appreciate sleeping in a bed more. “Hey, Petey-kins, wakey wakey; we’re here.” He gently nudged the boy’s shoulder until he began to stir awake. 

They both stepped out of the car and when Peter took in their surroundings, his eyes went comically wide and his mouth fell into a little o. “Wow, Mister Stark! This is amazing! I’ve never seen mountains in real life before. Are we going to see bears? And the stars, look at all the stars!” Tony let him ramble and grinned at his excitement. He turned to look at the stars that now dotted the blue velvet blanket above. Not bad. Not bad, at all. He could stand out here all night, but the temperature had dropped and neither of them was wearing a jacket, and he couldn’t wait for Peter to see the inside of the “barn”. 

“Hey Parker, let’s go inside,” he said, motioning toward the rather large barn near the middle of the farm. “We can star-gaze and braid each other’s hair another night.” Peter gave him a sheepish little smile. “Sorry, it’s just you can never really see the stars in New York. This is all so… magical”. Tony’s heart seized a little and his snarky smile molted into a reassuring grin. “I’m kidding, kid. You’re right, this is quite the view. Let’s go unpack. I need a shower.” 

Tony casually slung his arm around the boy’s shoulder as they made their way to the barn. Peter didn’t smile. Nope, not at all.


	2. In the Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update last week! It was hectic. My little brother graduated from army basic training and I got a tattoo! Fun stuff! Anyway, here is the second chapter. Hope you enjoy it! I'm fueled by your comments and kudos! :)

When they stepped through the front door, Peter audibly gasped in pleasant shock, looking everywhere at once. He fit the “like a kid in a candy shop” description to a T, at that moment, Tony thought. It was endearing. 

There were various welding machines and accessories, a station full of expensive-looking lab equipment, dozens of screens and hologram projectors, and two robots who immediately came forward to greet them, one of them who almost jabbed Peter in the ribs. “Hey you, be careful,” Tony chastised lightly. “His aunt will kill me if he goes back with so much as a scratch.” 

The robot in question whirred sadly, but proceeded to poke Peter gently this time. Peter chuckled and patted its head. “That’s U, by the way,” Tony said. “The other one is DUM-E. They’re like my kids. I built them myself.” Tony patted DUM-E fondly and the bot buzzed happily. “That is so cool,” Peter exclaimed, eyes shining. “I’ve always wanted to make one.” “I mean, I’ve done some small stuff at school, but nothing like this!” Tony studied his beaming face and thought back to when he was 15. Had he really been that young once? It seemed like a lifetime ago. “By all means, go nuts, kid. It’s what this is all here for.” Peter was about ready to dive in right then. “But not tonight. You need to sleep,” Tony amended.” 

“I’ll give you a quick tour, though.” Peter quickly followed as Tony began to walk toward the lab area. Tony turned to the boy. “There are all sorts of test tubes, containers, chemicals, and whatever else you might need,” the engineer explained. “If you ever need anything that’s not here, we can always order it. It won’t be delivered here, but we can pick it up. I’m not really the alchemist but I know you like all this stuff, so this will pretty much be your space.” 

The teenager looked at him, dumbstruck. His cheeks began to redden and his eyes glistened with tears that threatened to escape. Next thing he knew, Peter all but threw himself at him and enveloped him in a crushing hug accompanied by “Wow, I can’t believe it!” and “Thank you, Mister Stark! You’re the best!” Tony hadn’t moved his arms. Howard never hugged him. Not many people ever did, really. And everyone who did had either died or hurt him. Obe tried to kill him, Pepper left him. And Steve, oh Steve beat him to a bloody pulp and left him to die, alone in the cold of Siberia. The only exception was Rhodey. So yeah, Tony Stark didn’t really know how to react when he was confronted with this kind of physical affection. 

Snapping out of his unpleasant thoughts, he awkwardly patted Peter on the back. Baby steps. “No problem, Spiderling. And I’m Tony Stark, of course I’m the best.” He cleared his throat, stepped back and resumed walking, to another part of the barn. He went on to show Peter the welding station, computer area, the bots’ charging stations, and the emergency exits, should they ever need to use them. 

Peter’s eyes shone brighter every time he looked at a piece of equipment, but by the end of the tour, neither men could stifle a yawn. “Alright, Peter, time for bed, Tony declared. “We can continue Camp Stark tomorrow.” Peter nodded as another yawn betrayed him. “Where will I sleep?” Tony looked up and pointed to some stairs, leading to a second floor. “The room to the right of the stairs is yours. You’ll find a bed already set up, and there’s also a closet, bathroom, and balcony.” There was a kitchen and living room separating the two bedrooms. 

They both headed up the stairs and walked toward their respective rooms. “Good night, Mister Stark,” Peter called out before he retried into his. “Night, Kid,” Tony replied. 

********************* 

The next morning, Tony woke to the smell of coffee. His need for coffee overpowering any urge to stay in bed, he threw on his well-worn AC/DC shirt on top of his sweatpants and padded out of his room, to the kitchen. It wasn’t as big as the one in the compound, but no less fancy, decked with a top of the line coffee maker, of course, as well as an industrial stove and a fridge he equipped with F.R.I.D.A.Y. 

“Morning, Mister Stark,” Peter greeted cheerfully. “The coffee is fresh. I took the liberty of making some. I mean, it should be considered a food group. I’m pretty sure my body is 80% coffee.” 

Finally, someone who understands, Tony thought, amused. It’s a genius thing, he supposed. He almost voiced his agreement, but thought he should make sure Peter had proper nutrition. “It’s definitely mind fuel, kid, but you should drink a kale smoothie every once in a while. They’re actually not that bad.” See, he could be a good influence! 

The boy scrunched up his nose and looked at him as if Tony had insulted Aunt May. “It is the nectar of the gods and it would be blasphemous of me to drink a grass smoothie!” 

Tony rolled his eyes, but couldn’t refrain from chuckling. God, how had Pepper and Rhodey put up with his dramatic ass all these years. “Just try it, Spider-Kid,” he said, as he poured himself a cup of the onyx goodness. “DUM-E can make you one. He doesn’t put motor oil in them anymore, but I’d proceed with caution.” 

“It’s Spider-MAN,” Peter retorted, “Mr. Stark, sir, and no green smoothies for me, thanks.” 

The older man sipped from his mug, then looked up with a smirk and replied, “Okay, if you don’t at least try it once, I’’ll buy you those Flint Stone gummy vitamins and personally oversee that you take them. Every 15 year old wants to take those, right? Not a blow to your dignity at all.” 

Peter’s eyes narrowed and his lips almost formed a pout. “Fine,” he huffed, “You’re ruthless!” “You don’t get to be a successful businessman by playing nice,” Tony shrugged in response. “By the way,” he continued, “you should be having more than coffee for breakfast.” Peter looked at him, unsure of how to say it…”Erm, there isn’t-“. 

Luckily, F.R.I.D.A.Y intervened. “Boss, the fridge and pantry are empty. You forgot to stock up on food.” Tony groaned. He knew he forgot something important, you know, like food. In all fairness, he pretty much existed on coffee. As if reading his thoughts, the AI quipped, “I know you consider coffee food, Sir, but I believe a growing teenage boy requires more adequate nutrition. And you should consider eating actual food as well. Maybe this spider boy will help you with that.” 

Tony glared, as if he could physically see F.R.I.D.A.Y. “Tone down the sass, sweetheart. Leave that to me.” She was right, though. May wouldn’t be too happy if he starved her nephew. Back at the tower, he would only have proper meals if Steve— nope not going there. Back to food for Peter. 

“Sorry, kid. I completely forgot because I don’t want anything delivered here. I want to keep our location undisclosed.” Peter nodded in understanding. “It’s okay, Mister Stark. I’m not that hungry.” As if prompted, the boy’s stomach growled. Tony chuckled. “Come again?” Peter grinned, embarrassed. “There should be a town where we can get supplies about 40 minutes away,” Tony said. “Can you make it until then?” 

“Of course,” Peter replied. The older man began walking out of the kitchen as he said, “Let’s get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs in 15.” ***************** 

The drive to town was beautiful. Everything was lush and green, something they hadn’t been able to appreciate as it was late when they had arrived there the night before. The ground was dotted with wildflowers and Peter jumped in his seat, amazed when he saw a moose. Tony had been a city boy all his life, but as long as he had some sort of place to engineer and tinker with things, he could imagine staying in the mountains forever. 

The town was quite small, but was full of farmers with fresh produce, gathered in the square. Before they got out of the truck, Tony slipped on some shades and a cap. Peter would be okay, but Tony couldn’t afford to be recognized, even in this small place. 

When they got to the square, their first stop was the booth set up with homemade breads and local honey. The owner was a serene-looking old man wearing well-worn jeans and a light button down flannel. He turned to Tony. “Hi there, son. You and your son camping around here? I haven’t seen you around and we get a lot of campers and hikers this time of year.” 

Tony was about to interject that Peter wasn’t his son, but decided to go with it. If they wanted to be inconspicuous, this seemed like a good cover. “We’re actually here for the summer. This squirt has always wanted to see the mountains and I figured what better way than to explore them for more than just a few days.” 

The old man smiled and nodded in agreement. “That’s the way to do it. If you ever need a guide, feel free to ask. I may be old, but I’m still running, and I know my way around these mountains.” He held his hand out. “I’m Bill, by the way.” Tony shook it and smiled. “Nice to meet you, Bill. I’m Edward and this is Peter,” Tony said turning to young man, who hadn’t stopped smiling sheepishly since Tony referred to him as his son. Bill extended his hand to toward him and shook his hand, as well. 

The two brunettes proceeded to pick out a variety of bread as well as a large jar of golden honey. Bill had let them try it with a slice of fresh bread and butter. It was absolute heaven on their tongues. It went the same way at every booth they stopped at, which was a great thing, as they wound up spending a couple of hours there, filling up on samples and chatting with the locals. 

When they stepped back inside the barn, they were armed with an assortment of fruits and vegetables, fresh eggs, cheese, basic spices, bacon and dried meats, the bread and honey, and a large portion of vegetable soup and an entire wild-berry pie a bubbly mother of five had insisted they must accept. Bless Canadians. 

After putting everything away, Peter offered to make their lunch. “I’m not an expert,” he said, “but I learned how to make some easy stuff when Aunt May had to work late.” Huh. F.R.I.D.A.Y was right, then. The kid would end up taking care of him, making sure he ate. “Thanks,” Tony said. “I’m going to check in with Pepper about SI stuff, but I’ll be back in a few. She’ll find a way to kill me through the phone if I don’t call her.” 

Once in his room, Tony stepped out into the balcony to enjoy the mountain view. He took out his phone and dialed Pepper. It rang twice before she picked up. “Hey— “ “Tony Stark! A letter? You leave out of nowhere and all I get is a letter?! What is going on with you?” Tony sighed. He wanted to tell her in person but didn’t want her to think he was having some crisis. 

“Pep, I was going to tell you, but I know how busy you are with SI and this was a sudden decision,” he explained. Pepper waited. “Look, I needed to get away from everything- after the fight, I was in a dark place. Dealing with the Accords shit every day was just a reminder of everything…” he trailed off, hoping Pepper would have mercy. 

She let out a small breath. “Tony, god knows you need a break, more than anyone,” she said gently. “You have every right to get away. I was just worried about you. If I ever see Steve Rogers again, I will kill him.” Tony chuckled. He believed it. “I don’t doubt it, Pep. You could take him,” he said. “But seriously, thank you for worrying. I’m okay, really! I’m breathing the fresh air of the mountains and even brought the Spider kid along. Can you believe it? Me, a mentor?” 

Pepper laughed softly and then followed in a serious tone because she knew how self-deprecating her best friend could be. “Yes, actually, I can. You’re brilliant, Tony, and Peter will learn loads with you. I’m happy you’re doing this. I think it will be good for you.” 

The genius grinned, pleased, but couldn’t pass up a snarky reply. “Well, I figured I can’t screw him up too badly. His aunt would murder me, anyway!” He heard someone knock on the other side of the phone. Pepper must be in her office. He heard a hushed exchange before she came back on. “Sorry, Tones, works calls. I have meetings all day.” He definitely did not miss that part of SI. “Ugh, say no more,” he replied sympathetically. “We’ll talk later, yeah? Check in to see if I’m still alive,” he joked. 

She apparently, was not amused. “Don’t joke about that! But yes, we’ll be in touch,” she affirmed, “and Tony? You know I’m here for you, right?” Tony felt a small pang in his heart. Even if they weren’t together, she would forever be one of his best friends. 

“I know, Pep. I miss you. Keep those heels sharp and take care.” She laughed. “You too, Tony. And remember to eat! Bye, you maniac.” “Goodbye, Miss Potts.” 

He slipped the phone into his pocket and decided to go see what Peter had made for lunch. 


	3. Rock and Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have cute Irondad fluff, but get ready for some angst! A lot of protective Rhodey here :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated lately... It's been a couple of crazy weeks, but thank you for sticking with me! I'm already working on the next chapter. Our boys will have to meet again at some point, right? As always, please leave comments, kudos! I appreciate you guys so much!

Tony learned that Peter could, in fact, cook. Or at least make killer grilled cheese sandwiches. “They were my favorite food when I was a kid,” Peter told him over bites of the sandwich. They graciously dipped the sandwiches in hearty portions of the vegetable soup the mom at the market had given them. It was one of the best meals Tony had eaten in months. 

After lunch, they stepped down to the lab because Tony wanted to discuss upgrades to Peter’s suit. “I’ve designed up to 576 web shooter combinations,” Tony explained. Peter’s mouth fell open. Tony grinned. “You’ll have to practice every day to get the hang of them. Karen can give you a crash course.” “Whoah, that’s incredible, Mister Stark! 576?! And who’s Karen?” 

Tony chuckled fondly at Peter’s excitement. “What can I say? I’m the best. I even added a taser web. Karen is your suit’s AI. Like your own FRIDAY.” 

Always listening, Friday interjected, as if offended, ”Well not as good as me, Sir. I do more than babysit.” Tony outright laughed at that. His AI’s embodied snark and he wouldn’t have it any other way. “Of course, you’re my best girl, sweetheart.” 

Peter witnessed the interaction in amusement. “Oh man, this is too much! I get my own A- WAIT. Did you say laser web?” 

“Yep, you can try it out if you want.” Peter picked up the suit and headed to his room to change. “If you want to try more combinations, you should probably do it outside,” Tony advised. “Okay, Mister Stark!” God, he sounded like a dad, Tony thought. Weirdly, the thought didn’t scare him shitless. 

Leaving Peter to his own devices for a while, Tony shrugged off the hoodie he’d been wearing and set to work on modifications for his own suit. “Friday, let’s hear some music.” “Coming up, Sir.” Seconds later, the notes to Zeppelin’s ‘Rock and Roll’ blared out. “You know me so well, sweetheart,” Tony praised before losing himself in his work. 

After what felt like minutes later, his phone rang three times before he noticed. It was Rhodey. Unprompted, Friday cut the music. “Fri, put him through.” 

Before he could say anything, Rhodey beat him to it. “Hi, is this Tony StaNk?” Rhodey howled as Tony rolled his eyes. “Ha. Ha. Very funny, platypus. You’re the sweetest.” 

“I told you I was never going to drop it, Stank.” Tony faked a huff, but could never really be annoyed by his best friend. “Did you only call to laugh at me? Oh, I know, you miss me, don’t you, honey-bear?” 

Tony couldn’t see him, but he knew Rhodey was smiling. “Just making sure you haven’t blown up the mountains, Iron dummy.” 

The billionaire wiped off some of the grease that covered his arms as he answered, “You wound me! And I’ll have you know, I haven’t blown anything up. Yet… Joking! Anyway, all good here. The kid and I went to a farmer’s market. I even had vegetable soup, can you believe it?” 

“I take it you’re happy there? You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. Your eating habits are ridiculous. Where is the boy, by the way? You didn’t leave him at the market, did you,” Rhodey asked him jokingly. 

“I would never! Just because I left you that one time… But he’s outside trying out some upgrades I made to his suit.” 

As if on cue, he heard a fast thud against one of the windows, followed by a “Sorry, Mister Stark!” 

“What was that?” 

Tony winced, hoping Peter hadn’t been hit if it was the ricochet web. “Uh, I think the kid hit the window with one of the web combinations. I better make sure he didn’t hurt himself.” 

“Okay, Tony. Aww such a good dad.” 

“Hey, as far as the locals know, I am his dad. I’ve adopted him for the summer!” 

Peter called out through the window. “Hey, uh, Mister Stark, what’s instant kill mode?!" 

“WHAT?!” Tony jumped up and scrambled to the door. 

“Tones? Everything okay?” 

“Uh yes honey, but I gotta go! I’ll call you later!” 

“Yes, dear. Take care, Stanky.” 

**************************************************************************************************** _**Rhodey**_

__Moments after hanging up with Tony, James Rhodes still had a smile on his face. He was thrilled to hear the genius more relaxed, his voice no longer frayed, his tone lighter. Tony had lived through too much hell in his lifetime that he didn’t deserve._ _

__When Tony and Steve began their whatever their relationship was, Rhodey was happy. They were good for each other: the futurist and the man out of time. His best friend was happier and started carrying himself like he didn’t hold the weight of the world on his back. Or maybe it was because Steve lightened the load._ _

__Rhodey thought Tony would never recover after Pepper, but his broken heart was mended by the super soldier._ _

__Then, the Accords happened. Siberia happened. If he hadn’t been partially paralyzed, he would have hunted Steve Rogers down. They had talked about Tony. Rhodey had warned the captain not to hurt him, not after everyone else in his life had. But Steve betrayed Tony, broke the man who, despite his reputation, had the biggest heart of all._ _

__Rhodey would never forgive him for-_ _

__The ring of his phone suddenly interrupted his thoughts. Wait, not his phone. _ **The** _phone. The one Steve had given Tony. He was tempted to let it go unanswered, but he had a few choice words for solider.___ _

___“Tony?” The voice sounded choked. “God, I thought you wouldn’t answer. I wasn’t even sure if you had kept the phone…”_ _ _

___Rhodey glared at the device in his hand. He knew Steve couldn’t see him, but he didn’t care. “Not Tony,” he spat out, not bothering to feign politeness._ _ _

___He heard a sharp intake of breath on the other side. “Where- is Tony okay? He’s not hurt is he—.”_ _ _

___“I’m going to cut you off right there, Rogers. You lost the right to ask after Tony when you left him freezing and bleeding in that bunker. Why are you calling? You left him. You made a choice. No one forced you.”_ _ _

___Steve let out a broken sigh. He deserved this, he thought, bitterly. “I know, believe me, I do. And I regret it to my core. I hate myself for doing that to him. I- I still love him, always will.”_ _ _

___Rhodey sighed. He almost felt pity- almost. He wasn’t going to budge._ _ _

___“Listen, I read that apology letter you sent him, if you can even call it that. You’re a self-righteous prick, you know that? You may have everyone else eating out of your fucking hand, but I care about Tony. Would you like me to explain to you what that word means? Because you obviously don’t know. You were his friend, Steve, his **lover**. Tell me, how could you lay in his bed every night and lie to him?” _ _ _

___“Please, just let me speak to Tony. He can yell at me, if he wants,- hell I’d welcome that- but let him decide. _Please_ James…” _ _ _

__“No can do, captain. Tony isn’t here. He won’t be for a while and there is no way in hell I’m giving you a way to contact him. There’s a reason he left me this phone. I suggest you never call again. Goodbye.” ********************************************************************************************************_ _

__Steve let out a sob he had been choking back. He just wanted to hear Tony’s voice, wanted more than bittersweet memories that tore at his heart and mind. Now he didn’t even know where the beautiful genius was. He didn’t know what else to do._ _

___He-eyy platypus! Look at our backyard. Say hi, kid!_ _ _

___Hey, Mister Rhodes! These mountains are our backyard! Isn’t that wild?_ _ _

___Yep, look at us, mountain men. Anyway, I just wanted to send you a little video since I had to go earlier. Miss you, sugar bear!_ _ _

__Was that… okay, he, Steve Grant Rogers, was going crazy. He wanted to hear Tony so bad that he conjured this bizarre hallucination. Right? He looked at the phone he hadn’t flipped shut yet and saw that the call hadn’t ended. The other phone must not have hung up properly. Which means… he overheard some message, video Tony had sent Rhodey._ _

__Mountains._ _

__Tony had talked about them once. _They were laying in bed in the afterglow of a passionate round of love-making. Tony had taken him to a cabin in Colorado. “Let’s go to Canada next time, love,” the brunette had told him, smiling dopily again his chest. “I’ve always wanted to go.”_ _ _

__He had to be in Canada, he had to be. Steve didn’t know if it was deluded, desperate hope or his gut, but he had to go find him._ _


	4. When the Levee Breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Peter make s'mores... Oh, and Steve finds them.

Steve walked into T’Challa’s throne room. The king was deep in conversation with Nakia and Okoye. The trio looked up when the blonde man approached them. “Good morning, Captain. I assume you wish to speak to me.” 

Steve nodded and greeted the two women, as well. “Do you mind if we speak alone for a minute?” 

“We will leave and give you privacy,” Nakia said. “I will see you later, my love” she added, looking at T’Challa. Steve’s eyes followed the women until the door closed behind them. 

“So what is on your mind, Steve? Do you need new armor? Shuri is itching to make you a new one.” 

Steve smiled. The princess had been teasing him endlessly about his uniform, saying he had gone all “dark and edgy”. The thing is, his suit was the one Tony had made him. He only tore at everything he no longer represented, but he couldn’t bear to throw away the only thing that made him feel like Tony was with him, in a way. 

T’Challa saw the pained expression on the other man’s face. “Are you okay, Captain?” 

“Yes, sorry… No I don’t need new armor. When I do, Shuri will be the first to know,” he said. “I actually wanted to ask for a favor. I know you’ve already done so much, helping Bucky—” 

“Nonsense. If it’s in my power to help him, why not? Tell me what you need,” the black panther said in his ever present calm demeanor. 

Steve inhaled deeply before replying. “I need to use one of your small planes. There’s something I have to do.” 

T’Challa looked at him curiously, then gave him a knowing smile. “I won’t ask what you are doing because I believe I already know, he said. “But be careful. Know when to back away, Captain. He may not ever be ready to speak to you. Time heals, but his wounds run deep.” 

Of course the king knew what he was doing. No need to ask who he was referring to. 

“I have to see him,” Steve replied. “He needs to know how sorry I am, that I never meant to hurt him. Maybe it’s selfish on my part, but I don’t know what else to do.” 

T’Challa gave him a sympathetic smile and moved to pat his shoulder. “I understand, but keep in mind that his response may not be what you want. People only fight like you and he did when they care too much. You did some damage.” 

Steve’s heart clenched, the image of Tony’s face when he came down with the shield… He saw it every time he closed his eyes. Tony thought Steve was going to _kill_ him. It broke Steve’s heart, the shards puncturing his chest a little deeper every time. 

The king’s voice startled him back. “I will have Okoye take you to get one of our planes. Good luck, Captain.” 

Steve thanked him and retreated to pack some clothes before departing. He had a mission. ____________________________________________________________________________ 

Tony and Peter had been on the farm for close to three weeks, now and had settled into a a routine of sorts. Tony would tease Peter to no end and Peter eagerly soaked up everything the engineer showed him, asking questions and voicing his own animated thoughts. 

They took turns experimenting with making meals and they were actually edible most of the time. Sometimes, they’d watch movies, often resulting in popcorn wars. It reminded Tony of the team movie nights. He pretended he didn’t feel a pang in his chest, and quickly pushed the memories away. These were new memories. 

Tony often found himself imagining what it’d be like if Peter was actually his son. The kid was everything he’d be proud to have in a child. He constantly impressed him with his expansive knowledge. He also had an arsenal of pop culture references to rival Tony’s. Sometimes, Peter would allude to newer, millennial-y things and he’d be thrown for a loop. 

He stopped asking the spiderling to explain after the boy showed him a video of two men in a hot tub “five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay”, except someone had photoshopped Iron Man and War Machine’s faceplates onto them. He tried to give Peter his best unamused face, but immediately proceeded to send the video to Rhodey. They were trending on Twitter the next day. 

One night, after a long work-binge, Peter dragged Tony outside to make s’mores because he’d “never had proper ones”. The kid had the best puppy eyes, okay? And the billionaire had never had s’mores either. Howard and Maria weren’t exactly the s’more-making type of parents, and they never seemed to have time for Tony, anyway. 

The two men gathered wood they’d chopped earlier in the week and quickly got a fire going. They carried a couple of stumps over and perched on them, in front of the flames. Peter opened the bag of marshmallows and handed Tony a stick. The pair sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, roasting the sweet pillowy goods and assembling their first s’more. 

Tony bit into it and closed his eyes, taking comfort in the simple pleasure, his mouth flooded with warm chocolate and sugar. Peter smiled at him blissfully. “Mr. Stark?” Tony’s eyes fluttered open and turned his head to face the kid. “What’s up, Parker?” 

Peter looked down for the moment, his hands fiddling with the stick he’d been using to roast his marshmallows. He smiled, almost shyly. “Do you remember several years ago, when the whole thing with Vanko happened and you were fighting his drones?” 

“Sure, crazy Russian guy tried to kill me,” Tony nodded. 

“Right,” said Peter. “That night you saved a little boy from one of the drones…” 

“Oh yeah. Kid was trying to fight the damn thing with his own costume repulsers; he had guts,” Tony chuckled. “Wait, how do you know?” 

Peter blushed. “Uh, well, that little boy was me,” he explained. “I wanted to be like you… I still do. I never thought I’d ever actually end up here. But you’re here. You’re actually here and you’re so caring, generous, and— and you made me this sick suit. It all feels so surreal.” 

The boy’s eyes were misty and Tony couldn’t argue that his own were dry. He didn’t know what to say. Normally, he was the uncaring playboy, at least according to the media, and that was usually people’s first impression. They always assumed the worst, without really getting to know him, not that he opened up easily. Still, people seemed to come to the conclusion that he wasn’t worth the trouble. 

Yet, this boy who embodied all things pure, cared about him, looked up to him, and he didn’t quite know what to do with it. It made him happy all the same, a space in his chest adjusting to fit Peter. 

“If anything, you’ve helped me, Pete. If I hadn’t concocted this escapade, I’d probably be out doing some self-destructive thing or another. So—thank you, kid. And you want to be like me? No. **I want you to be better.”**

Next thing he knew, the boy had launched himself at him, enveloping him in a tight hug. Tony allowed it, and even found himself hugging back. Huh. Maybe he didn’t mind this hugging thing. 

Before either them could say anything else, Peter jumped up and looked around, suspiciously. “Mr. Stark, someone’s out there. I can sense it.” 

Tony immediately snapped into action, alert and ready to call his suit at any moment. “Kid, go get your suit!” 

While Peter ran in to retrieve it, Tony took out his glasses and surveyed the area. “Friday, show me heat signatures.” He scanned for a few seconds, seeing only nocturne animals roaming between the trees. Suddenly, he picked up a human, a large one at that. And it was getting closer, fast. 

He was about to call for Peter, when the boy appeared next to him, wearing his suit. “There’s definitely someone here,” he said, still scanning,”And he’s getting closer. Almost here. Get ready.” 

The two faced the dark mountains and waited. They didn’t have to wait too long; however, moments later, a dark figure emerged from the trees. Tony froze. He knew that outline all too well. 

Steve Rogers. 

Without warning, Tony fell to the ground, hyperventilating helplessly. He couldn’t breathe. _He was back in Siberia, the cold seeping through his skin, all the way to his bones. The bloodied shield thrown at his side, the shield **he** had driven into the arc reactor, shattering it—shattering him. He couldn’t close his eyes, because if he did, he’d see it all over again. _

_“Mister Stark? Are you okay? Mister Stark!” The voice was distant. What was Peter doing in the bunker? That wasn’t right._

Tony snapped his eyes open and realized he was kneeling on the ground. Peter’s arms were clasped around him. “ ‘M okay. It’s okay.” 

Peter exhaled, relieved. Just then, Steve stood before them, and before Tony could do anything, Peter turned to the soldier, furious and blasted him with what Tony knew was the laser web shooter. 

He had the hysterical urge to laugh, but he felt so drained. He turned to make sure Peter was unharmed. 

The kid’s face was the last thing he saw before he blacked out. ************************************************************************************************************** 

When he opened his eyes, he was welcomed to the sight of Peter at his bedside, watching him intently. “Have you been watching me sleep? You know that’s creepy, right?” Tony joked to lighten the mood. 

The boy leapt onto the bed and hugged him. “You passed out, and— and I didn’t know what to do. The captain said you were having a panic attack, but I just kept shooting him and tried to get you up, a—“ 

Tony gently nudged him back into the chair. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You did good, Pete. I’m alright. Thank you for getting me up here. How long was I out?” 

“Only about an hour.” 

When Peter seemed to relax a bit, he finally thought about Steve. “Uh, where is Rogers, but the way? You didn’t kill him, did ya?” 

“No, uh, he’s alive. I tied him up pretty well and threatened to keep shooting with the laser webs. Friday is also guarding him with one of your suits. Besides, he’s not really putting up a fight…says he wants to talk to you.” 

How rich. Steve Rogers wanted to talk. Hmph. That was some great _talking_ he did in Siberia, and during the Accords, and Tony especially loved that part where Steve told him the truth about his parents. Oh wait. 

Well, might as well face the music. 

He got out of bed, shuffled to the bathroom, and glanced at himself in the mirror. His skin was clammy and pale, his eyes weary, and his body felt so heavy. He looked like hell. The splash of cold water didn’t help much, but it grounded him in a comforting way. He could still feel. 

He walked back into the room and turned to Peter. 

“Take me to him.” 

“Mister. Stark? There’s something you should know…” 

“Yeah?” 

“Mister Rhodes is on his way here.” 

Oh. OH. Rhodey was going to kill Rogers. Geeze, all he wanted was a summer in the mountains with his kid… no, the kid. Now, he was going to probably have to help Rhodey hide the body of America’s golden boy because, honestly, Tony doubted he could muster the energy to hold him back. Damn it, Rogers. _Damn you to hell._

“I’m sorry, Mister Stark. Friday alerted him after you blacked out. She said you instructed her to do so as part of a protocol in case of an emergency.” 

Tony _had_ arranged an emergency protocol, but Friday could read his vitals and she knew he wasn’t in real danger. She still held a grudge against Steve, Tony thought, fondly. _That’s my girl._

“It’s fine, kid. She only followed my orders. I’m glad you were there, too… Well, let’s get on with it, as they say.”


	5. No Quarter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst ahead for our boys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been absent these past few weeks. I was juggling too much and needed to take a step back. Mental health is important, guys! Here's this to tide you over until next update, which might be ready by the end of the week :)

Steve

He hadn’t exactly expected to be welcomed with open arms, but he wasn’t prepared for Spider-Man to be there, let alone pelt him with- what were those, taser webs? He could take a wild guess as to who had designed those. Oh, Tony. Watching him fall to the ground when he saw Steve was heartbreaking. He used to be the person who _helped_ Tony when he had a nightmare or panic attack. Now? Now, he was the source, and he couldn’t blame anyone but himself. 

He had been searching the mountains for close to two weeks when he stumbled upon Tony and the other guy- well, kid. He sounded far too young. He saw the fire from a far distance, thanks to his enhanced eyes and decided to go towards it, something in his gut pushing him along. When he was close enough to hear voices, there was no mistaken Tony’s. He ran. For being known as a brilliant strategist, he sure hadn’t lived up to it just then. He didn’t know what he was going to say, only that he had to see Tony. Somehow, he didn’t think, “Hey, Tony, sorry about Siberia…Nice night we’re having” was going to cut it. 

He didn’t blame the kid for shooting him. Hell, he deserved it. It took several of them to subdue him and while they weren’t exactly pleasant, that wasn’t the worse part. Seeing Tony’s reaction, though? That hit him much worse. But he knew he would do anything so that the genius could look at him without fear or hatred again. ************************************************************************************************************* 

He was getting restless, being tied up, but he told the kid he wasn’t going to put up a fight. So he waited. It had only been about an hour, yet it felt like years. Finally, two sets of steps came down the stairs and _oh god, there he was. Tony._ Steve’s breath caught in his throat and he had the overwhelming urge to laugh and cry at the same time. He tried to smother both of them down; however, which resulted in a choked and whispered, “Tony.” 

He didn’t know what he was expecting to see when he saw Tony again, but the engineer looked _tired_. Not the manic, I’ve-been-up-for-over-72-hours tired, no. His eyes reflected the kind of somber wariness that came with pain, like the light was being systematically snuffed out. His face was hard, and Steve almost wanted him to yell. It would have been better than the alternative, because yelling meant he cared, right? Yelling meant he had something to work with, a sign that what they had was still salvageable. 

But Tony didn’t scream, didn’t punch him, didn’t even summon the suit. He studied Steve’s face for a few moments, head tilted slightly, eyes boring into his. And then finally, “Come to finish what you started in Siberia?” He asked quietly. Oh god, had he really thought Steve was going to kill him those months ago? It made Steve’s insides thoroughly ache. “Tony, no. God, you have to know that I—“ 

“Too bad because I have backup, this time,” Tony continued, pointing to the boy who was standing at his side, almost as if he were ready to catch the other man, should he fall. “And unfortunately for you, Rhodey’s on his way, so I’m afraid you can’t kill me today.” His eyes were ice and steel. He almost preferred the frozen block he’d been encased in. “But you must know, surely, you must know that I was pulling my punches back there, in the bunker. You, on the other hand? Tell me, was it some kind of sick rush?” Tony’s words were glazed in venom, but he knew when Tony was hurt. He was hurt. That was it, but Steve could fix it, he _needed_ to fix this. 

Steve looked into Tony’s eyes, holding their gaze, hoping they wouldn’t shift away. It was like sticking your tongue on a frozen pole. It hurt, but pulling away would only be worse. “NO. No, of course not! How could you think that? Tony, I love you— I would never. I never meant for any of that to happen!” 

Tony laughed bitterly, throwing his head back mockingly. “How could I think that, really? How could—? Let me see, could it be that you knew about my parents and never thought to tell me? You knew all the the time- when we had date nights, when we stayed up talking long into the morning, when you looked me in the eyes and told me you loved me. But you know, a specific moment comes to mind, hard not to notice someone breaking your heart. I mean, the reactor _was_ adapted as the remedy for my shredded heart. But hey, I fixed it all up, even made me a new one.” 

A new one? **No.** No, no, no. Had he caused Tony to put the reactor back in? He hadn’t strike him hard enough for that, had he? Then again, everything had gone to shit that day. He’d been a man possessed. He looked to Tony’s chest and saw the familiar glow, but it had a different shape, now. God, he was going to be sick. His vision swirled before him, but he dug his fingernails into his hands to steady him. He had to know. “Did I— are you okay?” 

Tony’s face turned positively livid. For a second. Steve thought, hoped even, that Tony was going to hit him, but instead he clenched his fists to his sides and stepped back onto the balls of his feet. His eyes remained locked on Steve’s. “You lost the right to ask that,” he spat out in a chillingly soft tone, making the soldier flinch. 

“Kid, go upstairs. I’ll be okay, I promise,” he directed at Peter. The boy looked at him with disbelief. “Mister Stark, I don’t think that’s— 

“ _Peter…”_

“Okay… okay, but if you need me, just call.” Peter looked between the two men one last time and headed upstairs. As soon as he was out of sight, the engineer turned back to face Steve. 

“I loved you. _Goddamn it_ , I LOVED YOU!” _Love, Tony. Steve thought. Present tense. You still love me. Please._

The next sentence drove a knife into his heart, the kind that was painful, dull and ragged, meant to inflict as much pain as possible. “But I guess sometimes that’s not enough,” Tony uttered, just under a whisper, but it echoed like a detonated bomb in Steve’s ears. 

“Don’t you ever think that! You— you were the best thing that ever happened to me. You gave me a _home_ , helped me find my place in this future that was so loud and unfamiliar. You let me in. I went about things in a horrible, horrible way, but please believe that I never wanted any of this to happen. Bucky- he was innocent and I couldn’t let him die, not again.” 

“Didn’t want to hurt me, Rogers? God, just listen to yourself. How would you have reacted if you found out that your parents were murdered and that their killer was in the same room as you? Not only that, but you _knew_. You knew the whole time. So spare me the bullshit. If there was anyone you didn’t want to hurt it was yourself.” 

Steve wanted to kick himself, wanted to go back in time and right everything he’d done wrong. Because Tony was right, he’d been selfish. He wanted to preserve the happy bubble they had been in for as long as he could, foolishly believing that he had time. He told himself he would tell Tony when it was the right time, when he figured out a way to help Bucky and explain everything. But it all blew up, had become all-consuming like angry lava and they were left burning in the aftermath. 

“I wasn’t going to kill him. I was pissed, insane with grief but I wouldn’t have killed him… And you know what the worst part is? If you had told me before everything? About Bucky? Oh, I would have thrown things, yelled, probably locked myself in the lab. But if you had been honest, I would have tried to help him. If you had loved me enough to admit that, especially since it involved your best friend, I would have tried to understand. You knew I was working on the Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing. And I would have helped you find him, too.” Tony’s voice began to shatter around the edges and it was all Steve could do not to break out from the webbing to hold him. “But I guess that’s how little you thought of me, huh?” 

Steve couldn’t dam the tears that fell from his eyes, hot and angry tracks, tiny streams of his sins. _Of course, he would have helped, Steve thought. Oh, how stupid, stupid, stupid he’d been. It was Tony- wonderful, compassionate, cares-too-much Tony. This- all of this could have been avoided if he hadn’t been so infuriatingly stubborn, so blinded by his tunnel vision, by his need to be in control of the situation. He couldn’t change what happened, but he had to try to begin to make it up to Tony, make him believe that he still loved him, would always love him. It didn’t matter if it took all his life. He wouldn’t stop trying._

“Tony, Tony I thought the world of you- still do! You’re right. God, I realize that now. I was an absolute idiot. I kept telling myself it was never the right time to tell you. And you could have helped all along. Of course, you would have. I hate that I hurt you so much Tony. I can barely live with myself. There hasn’t been one day that I haven’t hated myself, that I haven’t seen the look on your face when I hit you. I love you. I’ve never stopped. I never will. You gotta believe me, Tony. Please. Please let me try to show you.” A sob racked through his body and he felt like his chest was on fire, flames threatening to devour him, but his eyes didn’t waver from Tony’s face. 

The dark-haired man had his eyes closed, a pained expression carved onto his face. He was trying to steady his breathing. Steve couldn’t take it. He strained against the confining webs. They bit into his body, but he pushed as hard as he could until they snapped. Tony’s eyes flew open at that and he immediately jumped back. He pressed the reactor on his chest and Steve couldn’t quite believe what was happening. Before his eyes, what looked like metal threads were stitching themselves together, flowing across Tony’s body, trickling down his torso and across his chest and shoulders, sheathing his arms and legs, and finally, crawling over his face. It was- it was a new suit. Slimmer and shiny. It was breathtaking. 

“Don’t come any closer,” Tony ordered, his voice slightly robotic due to the suit. It startled Steve. He’d been so mesmerized, watching the armor hug the engineer, protecting him- protecting him from— oh. “Tony no, I wasn’t going to hurt you. I just wanted to..” He wanted to touch him, hold him, and never let him go again. 

“Yeah, no can do. Alright, you wanted to talk. We talked. Time for you to leave.” 

“Tony, please. Let me—.” 

“It wasn’t a suggestion, Rogers. We’re done here.” 

Before Steve could protest again, loud clunks came toward them. Both men turned to look at the source. _Rhodey._

The darker man was in his War Machine suit, but his faceplate was open. Steve didn’t have time to marvel at the fact he was walking again. “Unless my hearing is faulty, I heard you were asked to leave,” he snarled. He positioned himself between Steve and Tony, arms crossed, but body poised to fight. “But if you want to stay, I believe there is an entire organization who’d love to come retrieve you. Please, give me one more reason to kick your ass.” 

Tony placed a gauntlet-clad hand on the shoulder of Rhodey’s suit, half steadying himself, half holding the colonel back. His face plate was now up. ”It’s okay, Rhodey. He’s leaving. You know what will happen if they bring him in. We’re so close.” 

_So close to what?_

“Yeah well, he doesn’t deserve it, Tones.” 

“Deserve what,” Steve inquired, curiosity winning over any sense of self-preservation. He wouldn’t blame Rhodey for punching his face in. 

Tony’s eyes flickered to Steve’s. His face clearly said he didn’t want Steve to know. “Rhodey no…” 

“Rhodey yes. Sorry, Tones.” He turned back to glare at the super soldier. “You see, Rogers, this man is so damn selfless that he’s working to get all of you pardoned and allowed back. The others, they didn’t leave Tony to die so I’m not really worried about them, but you— you don’t deserve anything he has to give.” 

_Tony was doing all that? Even after everything Steve did to him? God, he was the biggest jerk in the world. Captain Dumbass is what he was. Everyone, including Steve at one point had declared the engineer to be selfish, but he was far from it. He’d designed every one of them their own area of the tower. He made sure everyone’s favorite snacks were always stocked and gave them random thoughtful gifts, like the ballerina music box he designed himself, for Natasha. Only Steve knew that it was Tony who played the piano melody, some Russian lullaby, and only he had seen the single tear that managed to escape the spy’s eye, as she hugged Tony._

_One time, he took Steve to eat at a little diner in Brooklyn. The owner struck up conversation with them and ended up telling them that he was being forced to close the business due to some development project. The next day, Tony instructed Pepper to buy the building with his personal funds, saving the man’s diner. And all this time, Steve had been so incredibly foolish. HE was the selfish one. He hadn’t loved Tony the way he deserved to be loved. Maybe— maybe he could have a second chance._

He hadn’t realized he had been staring at the floor, head bowed in shame, but he mustered all his strength to gain enough composure to look up at Tony. “Is that True, Tony?” He swallowed the knot in his throat. “You’e doing that for us?” 

Tony’s face was blank, carefully smoothed to not betray any emotion, but his eyes could never lie. “A broken team doesn’t really work, does it? This is bigger than me or you. It always has been. It had never been my intention to break it in the first place. See, it isn’t _my_ specialty to break people.” Steve knew that was aimed at him— that it was meant to hurt him, but knowing didn’t soften the blow. 

He licked his lips and continued, “Don’t tell the others, yeah? I don’t want anything to mess this all up before it’s all put in place.” 

“I won’t,” Steve whispered. “Tony I— thank you.” 

“Like I said, it’s not about you. And before you even ask, your _best_ friend will be safe. T’Challa’s more than happy to keep him in Wakanda until he’s all fixed up.” 

Steve didn’t miss the slight snarl. He hadn’t even thought about mentioning Bucky. And Tony knew their location all this time? He could have had them arrested at any time, but he didn’t… When had this all gone to hell? 

“Can we talk some more Tony? Please. I—I don’t even know how to start, but I want to fix this… fix us. Just give me a chance. _Please_.” 

Before Tony could answer, Rhodey interjected. “Enough, Rogers. Time for you to leave.” 

Steve looked to Tony, silently hoping he’d ask him to stay. But of course, he wasn’t so lucky. Beautiful, sad brown eyes looked directly into his for a moment. “You heard him. Just… leave.” God, Steve wanted to reach out and touch him, but he knew he’d be on the ground before he even tried to move his way. 

Rhodey looked at him as if to say “I dare you”. 

“Okay,” he said defeatedly. Okay, I’ll go.” He wanted to look at Tony one more time, but the genius had turned away from him and started walking up the stairs. He didn’t turn back once and was soon out of view. Steve sighed, nodded to Rhodey warily and walked out the door, his feet threatening to betray him, but he pressed on, until he was hidden by the trees. 

The walk back to the jet would have been entirely serene, if it weren’t for the storm of thoughts in his head. Thousands of stars glittered brightly overhead, specks of happiness against the midnight sky, as if mocking his sadness. He could make out the tumbling of a nearby waterfall and it helped soothe him. He let some of pain flow along with the water. He needed a plan, he decided. He hadn’t thought things through before running at Tony and look where that got him. 

By the time he reached the small aircraft, he’d made up his mind—he wasn’t going to leave. Steven Grant Rogers didn’t give up, damnit! He’d stick around, but leave Tony alone for a few days. Maybe if he gave him some time, they could talk more calmly. Hopefully, Rhodey would go back to New York. He knew T’Challa warned him about letting Tony be, but this couldn’t be it for them. He would try to approach Tony again and if he still told Steve to leave, then he would. 

He was aware that his pig-headedness was what got him into all of this in the first place, but he had to believe that it’d also aid him in making things right with his love. He couldn’t lose the best thing that had happened to him. Tony was working on getting all of them back, but the thought of only having the beautiful man back as a teammate and nothing more was utterly devastating. Not when he knew what being loved by Tony Stark was like. He didn’t think his heart would be able to take it, serum be damned. 

Now, he waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Steve and Tony still have some talking to do. We'll see Tony's POV in the next chapter and pick up after Steve left.


	6. Ramble On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! This story didn't turn out exactly like I'd imagine, but I felt that I needed to finish it so here it is. As always, feel free to leave kudos, comments, or prompts!

Tony

“Rhodey, you can’t stay here. I’m perfectly fine, I promise. He’s gone.” 

His best friend did not look convinced in the slightest. “Maybe you should come back with me, Tones…” 

“Nope. Not happening. I made Pete a promise and I’m not going to cut his summer short just because Captain Lumberjack made an appearance.” He clasped his best friend’s shoulder in assurance. “Besides, if you disappear for too long, Ross will freak out and send a search party. Please?” 

Rhodey sighed, but nodded defeatedly. He pulled Tony to him and enveloped him a rather terrifying bear hug. “If you need anything- anything, Tony, you call me.” 

“I will, platypus. Don’t worry. Even if I don’t, my gal Friday certainly will, as we all know.” 

_I am aware that Mr. Stark doesn’t always have the best sense of self-preservation, Colonel,” the AI quipped. “I will alert you, should the need arise,” she promised._

“Traitor,” Tony muttered, without any heat. Rhodey did seem slightly appeased, though. “Glad to know you’ve got someone taking care of you, Iron Dummy.” 

“That’s Honey Bear Iron Dummy, to you, thank you very much,” Tony grinned. “Thank you for always coming to save my ass.” 

“I wasn’t there in Siberia,” Rhodey said quietly. 

“Hey, no, don’t do that. We’re not going to play the guilt game, okay? Because I’d definitely win.” _I didn’t get to you in time. All for a stupid fight. I could never lose you._

“And I thought you needed more PT before you used the suit. Are you okay? Your legs…If you’re in pain and flew all the way here…” 

“I’m fine. No pain. My PT is progressing faster than projected and the alterations you made to the suit are perfect, okay?” 

Tony sighed in relief. Okay, but if you think of anything, you tell me and I’ll fix or add whatever you need.” 

“Yes dear,” Rhodey sing-songed. “Now, you got any food here? Saving your butt makes me hungry.” 

And just like that, some of the tension left Tony’s body. He called Peter into the kitchen to join them for dinner and they ended up on the couch with a giant bowl of popcorn after deciding on a movie. Rhodey looked between them, amused that the kid kept a running commentary. Apparently, Tony had met his match. ************************************************************************************************************* 

Rhodey left the next morning. Tony watched him take off, until he disappeared into the sky. He’d decided to leave Peter to his devices for the day. He wouldn’t be the best teacher, with his mind all over the place. After several cups of coffee, he found himself walking outside, toward the forest. 

The clean air filled his lungs and the slight breeze caressed his hair, giving him a bed-head look, no doubt. He’d forgone a haircut since they’d been in Canada, but he didn’t mind the rogue curls, he now sported. After twenty minutes of walking, he heard the gentle bubbling of a waterfall and began to walk towards it. It lead him to a small clearing, crystal water forming a nice swimming hole. 

He was tempted to jump in. He hadn’t been swimming in what felt like years. Maybe it’d help clear his head. Oh, what the hell? He toed off his sneakers and socks, setting them on a large rock. His shirt and pants followed, leaving him in his boxer-briefs. The new arc reactor mirrored the blue of the water. He took a deep breath, then jumped from his place on the rock. 

It was summer, but the water in the mountains was perpetually cool. It pricked his skin, only momentarily, not enough to burn. Just enough to make him feel alive. He reveled in the feeling, body moving with the water. He pressed on the reactor, the nanites only covering his body from the chest up, allowing him to see and breathe underwater. He swam to the bottom and found a rock to wrap his legs around, anchoring him. It was…nice. Like he’d entered another world, where he didn’t have to worry about Steve Rogers, the Accords, or more alien attacks. 

Just as he was contemplating building an underwater lab, he felt a ripple in the water behind him, but before he could turn, strong arms gripped his waist and he was suddenly propelled to the surface. 

He quickly engaged the suit in its entirety and slipped from whoever was holding him. He hovered over the water and turned— _Steve_. 

“Rogers?!” 

“Tony I can explain-.” 

“The hell you will. What are you still doing here? Were you spying on me?” Steve’s face fell before his jaw set in the all too familiar stubbornness. “Tony, can we talk, please? Just humor me for a little while.” 

Tony snorted and flew lower, landing on the ground to make himself eye level with the other man. “You’re not really in a position to make requests, Rogers. There’s nothing to talk about. Like Rhodey explained, we’re working on amending the Accords and getting Ross to grant you pardons.” 

_Why didn’t Steve leave? What was he expecting? For him to just run back into his arms and pretend Siberia never happened? He couldn’t— he wouldn’t. Yes, they’d have to cohabit once the Avengers were back together, but that was it. He could never trust Steve with his heart again. Even if said heart still beat for the soldier._

He heard Steve sigh, his shoulders sinking. “That’s not what I— Tony can I at least see your face?” 

Tony rolled his eyes, behind his mask, but shrugged and retracted it, revealing his face. 

“What do you want? Just say whatever you’re going to say. It’s not going to change anything.” 

Tony crossed his arms and waited for Steve to say his piece, ignoring the turmoil in his heart. 

“I don’t want us to be like this, worse than strangers. I know I hurt you- I know I broke your trust, but can we just try to be _us_ again? We’ve been through a lot. I can’t just accept that I can only treat you as a teammate. And I’m not asking for you to jump back into a relationship, but can we start with rebuilding our friendship?” 

“I don’t even know what “us” means. What were we? A pair of broken men trying to piece each other together only to break each other again? I admit that I didn’t go about the Accords the right way, but you couldn’t trust me to know what I was doing, to work them in our favor, with time. Yet I placed all my trust in you, when I shouldn’t have. You lied. You lied and even as my partner, as the love of my life not only did you decide for me, but you chose someone else over me. Instead of working to find a way where you didn’t have to choose. You could have told me and asked for my help. Do you know what it felt like? To be left behind, alone, broken— to see you walking away?” 

Silent tears were now flowing both of their faces, as if trying to dry out the pain invading their bodies. 

“Maybe I still love you. I can’t imagine a universe where Tony Stark doesn’t love Steve Rogers. But in this universe, I can’t. I can’t let you in again. Not like that. So no, Steve, I don’t know what “us” looks like anymore. Maybe, one day, we’ll be able to have some sort of friendship, and I promise that as your teammate, I’ll always be there. But right now, I can’t look at you without seeing you over me, hitting me over and over. I can’t bear the thought of you touching me. Because I’ll be back there- in the bunker and it feels like I can’t breathe.” 

_He pictured it a million times- what he would say to Steve once he saw him again. He wanted to make him hurt, to act like he didn’t care about him anymore. Now that he had the chance to, he didn’t do any of that, but it all felt relieving, in a way, admitting out loud how he truly felt about what happened, that he still loved the man standing before him, that he was still in agony. He had the right to feel. Huh, so that was acceptance. Five stages of grief and all._

Steve was openly crying, not bothering to hide the anguish spilling out of every crevice. “Tony, I’m—“ 

Tony sighed and shook his head, sadly. “Stop saying you’re sorry, Rogers. Just stop. You’re sorry. I’m sorry. We’re all sorry. That doesn’t change what happened and we have to accept that.” 

“So that’s it?” Steve looked up from the ground. “What are we supposed to do; what am _I_ supposed to do?.” 

The broken expression on his former lover’s face reflected the torment in his heart, but he couldn’t give in. He needed to heal. They both needed to heal. And maybe they would never truly mend, but their family of misfits would help patch up the wounds. Now, he also had Peter, the stubborn, overly energetic, impossibly pure and kind-hearted kid from Queens. And that was enough. 

“We move on, Steve.” Tony was aware that was the first time he’d call the super-soldier by his first name since, well since _then_. The surprise was evident on Steve’s face. “You go back to the others. We’ll all be back soon enough. And when that happens, we just take it one day at a time.” 

He gave Steve a small nod before flying off. “Goodbye, Cap.” 

Peter was in the kitchen making lunch, when Tony returned to the barn. He smiled brightly when he spotted the billionaire. “Is everything okay. Mr. Stark?” 

Tony smiled just as brightly, thankful for the human ray of sunshine standing in the kitchen. “Everything is perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you were expecting a Steve/Tony reunion. I love happy fix-it fics, but I just felt that a lot of those are unrealistic because they both need time to sort themselves out. This was therapeutic for me and thank you to everyone who stayed on this journey with me! :D


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